Paul Heyman: "Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I am here to introduce you to the most extreme live event of all time There Is No Arizona!"


Heyman: "I know, I know, Senator Chuck Schumer, or as I like to call him Upchuck Shoomer, wants to take this show off the air.
But let me tell you something, Schumer you can't handle the truth! You can't handle the extreme!"


Heyman: "And to all of you out there, the extreme fans, who crave the violence and the mayhem,
who want to see men push their bodies to the limit, who want to see blood and guts this is the show for you!"


Heyman: "So get ready, because today There Is No Arizona and there can be only one winner!
And that winner will be take on Omos for the Peacock Championship next week!"


Heyman: "So Senator Schumer, Upchuck Shoomer, whatever you want to fucking call yourself, bring it on!
We're not afraid of you, we're not afraid of anyone! Because here you will watch them die live!"


Heyman: "This is our trophy our championship the golden Peacock and whomever wins todays tourney next week will face Omos for it!"




Heyman: "Lets Watch THEEEEM DIIIE LIVEE!"
The Hotdog's theme hits


The Hotdog: "Yeah I'm here and I'm going to win it all and I hope to face Zeus to get payback for him punching me!"


Jim Duggan's theme hits


Duggan: "Take that ya weiney!"


Duggan punches the hot dog


Heyman: "He's out!"
Duggan: "This tastes like a Nathan's hot dog Mr. Heyman!"


Heyman: "Mr. Kevin Nash, thank you for joining us here today, sir."


Kevin Nash: "You know, I just got off the phone with my good friend Scott Hall.....
And we were reminiscing about how we changed the business back in the day. And now, I've got a new challenge."


Nash: "That challenge is none other than Fat Joe. Yeah, that's right.
The Samoan guy the guy who thinks he can step into the circle with me.
Well, let me tell you something, Fat Joe. You have no idea what you're in for."


Somoa Joe's theme hits


Nash: "I've been in this business for over 30 years, and I've seen it all.
I've fought the best of the best, and I've come out on top. So, if you think you can take me down, you've got another thing coming."
Somoa Joe: "Nash, I'm sick and tired of your bullshit!
You've been nothing but a lazy, entitled prima donna You show up late to the building, you always half-ass your matches, and you're always complaining about something."


Joe: "I'm not the only one who sees it. The fans see it. The other wrestlers see it. Even the management sees it.
But for some reason, Paul Heyman has you here."
Nash: "Joe, you're a joke. You're a nobody. You don't have any talent. You don't have any charisma.
You're just a glorified jobber. And I can tell you one thing: you're never going to be anything more than a glorified jobber. "


Nash slaps Joe


Joe: *sob* "I'm sorry!"
Joe runs away


Nash: "Well... I'm done here.... I'm fucking outta here."


Heyman: "Well hmmm where are the fighting Englishman and the Irishman?


Heyman: "Oh there they are!"


Finlay: "Awww fuck yew ya damn brit!"


Wade Barrett: "Nao fuck yew ya damn Irish asshole!"


Finlay goes for the cloverleaf


Heyman: "This is what shoot fighting is! Take notice ya idiots in Canada!"


Barrett chokes Finlay


Barrett puts Finlay into the stage


Both men climb the stage




Both men fall off the stage


Heyman: "Oh Shit! They are both out!"


Dean Ambrose's theme hits


Dean Ambrose: "I'm here for a fight! Look at me I'm SO KRAZY! AND that's Krazy with a K!"
Heyman: "Really? Well hmmmm... huh..."


Ambrose: "Yeah I'm the lunatic fringe!"
Heyman: "OK....."


Zeus punches Ambrose in the back of the head


Heyman: "That showed him he thinks he's crazy.... Please!"


Ambrose: "Fuck you Heyman!"
Heyman: "Look that loser is up KILL! KILL! KILL!"


Heyman: "If you may Mr. Zeus, sir use this chair to KILL this fucker!"


Zeus hits Ambrose's legs with the chair




Heyman: "Zeus is a Killing machine!"
Zeus: "GAAAAAAAHHHH GAAAAAAAHHHH!"


Heyman: "You hear that? HA HA yeah he says hes going to KILL EVERYONE!"


Duggan: "Hoooooo try me ya bug oaf ol Hacksaw represents the Ol' USA Tough guy Hoooooo!"


Zeus: "GAAAAAAAHHHH!"
Duggan: "Hoooooo!"


Zeus punches Duggan


Heyman: "He's out!"


Heyman: "Zeus... Let's show a message!"


Zeus: "GAAAAAAAHHHH!"
Zeus punches the cinder block


Heyman: "Ohhhh wow! Yeah a message has been sent!"


Heyman: "Yeah that cinder block was a text message!


Heyman: "It was a text to the person and we hope he doesn't as the kids say ghost us because if he does he will WATCH THEM DIE LIVE!"