Conrad Thompson: "Eric, I just heard some horrible news.
Governor Kay Ivey has pushed up John Cena's execution date."
Eric Bischoff: "That's great news, Conrad.
The sooner they put this animal down the better."


Conrad: "C'mon Eric.. this is something weve never seen before!
Cena  was tried and sentenced within a few months."


Bischoff: "Oh god here we go aagain..."
Conrad: "What? What I'm sayin is da truth!"


Bischoff: "Oh your buddy Dave Meltzer tell you that?"
Conrad: "No he didn't! It's true and this whole Mohawk Valley Prow-"


Bischoff: "Oh God. Cpnrad stop!
I am here today to talk about the future of wrestling."
Conrad: "This again?"


Bischoff: "In two weeks you will see the man who is the future of wrestling."
Conrad: "It isn't John Cena."


Bob Caudle: "Welcome to the Legends Only League wrestling fans.
Lets bring out the Russian nightmare Nikoali Volkoff!"


The Russian National anthem plays


Bob: "Mr. Volkoff, the wrestling fans wanna know abo-"


Roddy Piper hits Volkoff with a chair


Piper and the turtles beat down Volkoff


Dusty Rhodes' theme hits


Dusty: "We gunna get a free sample like we b at sams daddeh!"


The Dusty elbow to Shredder


Dusty: "Yeah yu bettah b runnin!
Next week daddeh ya mine!"