Mean Gene Okerlund: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to the Colossal Tussel go home show!
On this show we will hear from Maniacos and The Rock!
And from the popular Pat McAfee and Superstar Billy Graham!"


Maniacos: "Well, let me tell you somethin' Mean Gene....
When it comes to a fight, Maniacos ain't afraid of nobody!
I've been on top of the mountain Olympus, DUDE!
I was there while the rock was just starting out JACK!"


Maniacos: "This is gonna be a fight for survival!
At the Colossal Tussel...
Maniacos is gonna prove to the world...
That there's only one man who deserves to be called the most electrifying...
The most devastating... the most IMMORTAL!"


Godzilla: "How about the career stipulation you added?"
Rock: "Zilla, let me tell you somethin' brother...
Maniacos' career is like a vintage Hawaiian shirt..
It's faded, outdated, and desperately clinging to its glory days.
At the Colossal Tussel, DUDE....
I'm gonna rip that shirt right off his back and shove it up his ASS!"


Godzilla: "Can you imagine the look on the Maniacos' face..
When he realizes his reign of terror is finally over?"
Rock: "The millions annnnnd millions....
Of The Rock's fans...
Will be overjoyed because they are tired of Maniacos' outdated act!"


Rock: "At The Colossal Tussel, Zilla...
It won't just be the end of Maniacos' wrestling career...
It'll be the end of his relevance.
Period.
IFFFFF YAAAAAAAAAAHHH SMELLLLLLL
What the Rock is cooookinggg!"


Pat McAfee: "Now, let's get right down to it.
We've got the Colossal Tussel coming up....
And the whole damn world is buzzing about this Maniacos vs. Rock match.
Superstar What's your take?"
Superstar Billy Graham: "The Rock's been running wild for too long.
The Crock says he the most electrifying… blah blah blah.
He ain't seen nothin' compared to Maniacos my brotha!"


McAfee: "Preach on, brother!
Maniacos has got that old-school swagger, that connection with the fans.
You can't buy that, man. It's earned."
Superstar Billy Graham: "Earned, Pat, earned!
And The Rock hasn't earned the right to call himself "The Most Electrifying."
He ain't seen electrifying until he gets a leg drop right on his candy ass!"


Mean Gene: "There you have it, folks!
The time for talking is over!
The lines have been drawn..
And the Colossal Tussel is gonna be one for the ages!"