Eric Bischoff: "Conrad, have you heard about what happened to Xia Li?"
Conrad Thompson: "Yeah Bob Caudle will show the footage of what happened."


Bischoff: "I bet John Cena did this.
Oh wait he's DEAD!"
Conrad: "Oh come on."


Bischoff: "Oh by the way where is Nikki Bella?"
Conrad: "We know that Braun Strowman is the elusive Mohawk Valley Prowler."


Bischoff: "That was never proven, Conrad."
Conrad: "Well Sting said so."


Bischoff: "Sting said that? Haha isnt he still a turtle?
Yeah no judge in the world is going to listen to what a turtle has to say."
Conrad: "Oh come on."


Road Warrior Hawk: "WELLLLLLLL.....
WE got a situation dont we?
The situation in Ukraine, it's a real mess.
Now..... I'm not a politician.. Buuuuuuut I've been in my fair share of battles.
And I know one thing violence only leads to more violence."


Hawk: "So what do we do?
We raise the violence!
I say we bomb em!
BOMB THE FUCKING SHIT OUTTA EM!"


Hawk: "We KILL everyone accountable.
Russia. Ukraine.. Even Mongolia!
So when we do this we wont hear Anymore more shit talk...
I wanna hear silence."


Hawk: "That's how we're gonna resolve this war. With more violence!
OHHHHHH WHAAAAT AAAAAA
RUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSHHH!"


Bob Caudle: "Wrestling fans welcome to another episode of The Legends Only League!
And wrestling fans we need to address the elephant in the room.
Last week, Xia Li was brutally attacked by a mystery assailant.
Well, we've got surveillance footage that's going to change everything.
And I'm not just talking about any footage wrestling fans.
I'm talking about the smoking gun that reveals the identity of Xia Li's attacker.
So, without further ado, let's-"


Dusty Rhodes' theme hits


Dusty: "Bob, I want to see who did dis to mah lil protector!"
Bob: "Ok lets roll the footage."






Dusty Rhodes: "Sgt. Slaughter, you son of a bitch!
I can't believe it was you!
You, who say yah a hero, a patriot, you aint a friend!
Attacking people frahm da shadows!
Xia Li, a defenseless womhan
and you jump her from beehind?
Wut kind of man are you, Slaughter?"


Dusty: "Dis is personal, Slaughter!
Dis is about honor, integrity, and respect!
Yah a disgrace to the wrestling biznes!"
Now get out here and kick ya hiney kicked!"




Cobra clutch to Dusty