Mortal kombat Hundreds of years ago in Japan a kid and his parents. Someone was gardening they had a baby. Guy asked for honzo I gotta ask for a honzo at taco bell. Btw the dude that showed up was sub zero. Sub zero froze the mom and kid. Meltzer: Wait when DID SUB ZERO TURN HEEL? lots of people were stabbed lol it looked like an exhibition. Lots of people did jobs. BIHAAAAN! B-han? Scorpion showed up and fought sub zero. I think scorpion did a job. Scorpion no sold it then caught fire . Jim Cornette: Ten FUCKING MINUTES in they ain't selling a FUCKING thing! Raiden showed up. Earthrelm is under attack and to save the EARTH a human must do the tournament. In 2221 March madness will be like that A mma fight happened. A guy did a job. Sub zero said he's sub zero. BRYAN ALVAREZ: WE KNEW THAT ALREADY! Jax showed up and watched. Sub zero froze everything. You think he does that at schnucks? Sub zero and jax fought. Sooooo sub zero was the guy that ripped jaxs arms off? I thought he had the arm gimmick to enhance his arms. In the first two movies he never lost his arms. Dave Meltzer: Why do they keep putting over sub zero? The guy named Cole met Sonya blade sonya did an amutuer wrestling take down Verne Gagne would approve of. Kano was held captive and was shot. Reptile showed up and kano ripped his heart out. Dave Meltzer: REPTILE WAS BURIED. Kano worked out a deal with Sonya for 3 Million dollars. Then Sonya was like she lives in a shit hole she doesn't have 3 Million dollars Bryan Alvarez: So wait Sonya is or was in the army and she's one of THE best fighters on the PLANET FUCKING EARTH AND SHE LIVES IN A FUCKING TRAILER! Sonya and kano fought. Bryan Alvarez: THIS WAS MAN ON WOMAN VIOLENCE! Liu Kang threw a fire ball at kano Also Liu Kang had jax. Raiden said ahh we gotta win this tournament ahh Liu Kang and sub zero fought. Kung Lao did a run in. Tsang Sung said he's here for souls. Raiden did the whole lightning gimmick and Tsang Sung no sold it. Kung Lao introduced himself. Kano no sold it. Kano quoted Toby Keith and said we need a lot less talk and a lot more action! Kung Lao did a work out. Liu Kang looked jacked. Dave Meltzer:YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE KANG IS ON THE GAS! sooo they ate dinner. Kano asked Kung Lao for an egg roll. Kano said he's wanted in 35 countries! Kano said He's always been crazy Bryan Alvarez: "NOW HE'S QUOTING WAYLON JENNINGS!" kano said he's the black dragon kano then screamed pass me an egg roll! and he shot a laser out of his eye. I gotta do that next time I goto Chinatown Express. Bobby Heenan: I heard the same thing happens when you eat at tito's house. Gorilla Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP?! Sooo raiden said the dude with the birth Mark's distant relatives were killed by sub zero. Dave Meltzer: Wait did Raiden goto ancestory dot com? Kabal and general Roku were given orders by Tsang Sung. Kabal cut a promo on Kano. And kano turned heel and joined the heel team. So they all fought. This was unsanctioned and not a part of the tournament. A woman with wings flew by. I don't know that was tho... Whoever it was did a job. Goro bashed in a truck. And beat a few people up. Goro jobbed clean to Cole. Vince Russo: THEY CUT THIS GUYS BALLS OFF BRO! Tsang Sung took a soul it was kung Lao's soul sung THEN inhaled the soul! Dave Meltzer WHEN DID SUNG BECOME KIRBY? So the good guys were teleported in the snow. I think Liu Kang said they were transported into Des Moines. The good guys had a plan. Jax beat down a jobber and was pleased with his new arms. Looked like Sonya threw Robatessin at kano eye and rhey fought Sonya hit kano with jiffy pop and kano sold for it. Liu Kang did a bicycle kick. Oh I knew a kid that did that in recess. Liu Kang killed someone. Sonya killed melina by tearing her insides out. Bobby Heenan: your insides get tore out when you eat at titos! Gorilla Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP?! Sub zero fought cole. Scorpion did a run in. So In a frozen mma cage it was a triple threat cole scorpion and sub zero. Scorpion shot fire out of his mouth. Like he was tom from tom and Jerry. Again. Bobby Heenan: when you eat at titos you always shoot fire out of the mouth! Gorilla Monsoon: WILL YOU STOP?! Tsang Sung cut a promo saying pretty much said the war isn't over. You may have killed a few people and next time hell bring an army ok bye. Then Cole was like I'm not doing the mma deal anymore because I'm going to Hollywood and the camera panned over and Cole was Johnny Cage. I guess? I'm confused.