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UWF on ESPN Classic Jan 16th

I know I said yesterday I wouldn't review any more UWF then I realized this is kinda funny The only time I talk about wrestling is shitty UWF lol

OK before the show starts it's New Years No Limits some guy jumping across a football field

Opening (BTW I said last night this is the WORST opening video EVER)

Paul Ordorff vs The Grappler
The Grappler is from Parts Unknown BTW
Paul Orndorff completely owns he piledrives that's IT! WOW!
2 minutes!!!! not eve more like 1 minute!!
Steve Williams promo on how he will destroy Paul Orndorff OK....
Commercial Wait it's 12:03!!! WTF?

Captian Lou's corner
it's John Tolos John Questions Lou John claims Lou is washed up
John also claims how he has more talent in his finger than Lou's' fat body
then Lou eats John's tie (That makes sense right???)
commercial! WHAT? it's 12:08 and 2 commercials???

Nikita Koliff promo BTW he's coming to New York
oh wait here's Nikita he's fighting Spitball Patterson
There's a sign that says "Send Koloff back to Siberia"
Oh wait the crowd is cheering for Koloff What is he face?
Koloff wins via clothesline
(Wait it's only 12:14)

commercial

Col. Debeers promo he claims he's the best wrestler in the universe
Billy Jack Haynes promo
Col. Debeers vs Billy Jack Hanyes

Col. Debeers puts Billy Jack in the ropes
commercial
Bruno: "Debeers is one tough tough tough Cookie!"
Col uses the ropes as a weapon....again
Col goes to the second rope the drops his fist onto Billy
1,2, kick out
Col pushes referee into Billy Jack
Billy gets Colonel into a Full Nelson while in the Full Nelson
Colonel kicks the Referee and gets DQ'd
Colonel attacks Re free LOL he gives the ref a DDT or has he calls it the State of Emergency
then he spits on the referee
a 20 second Ice man promo and that's it for show 1


UWF ON ESPN CLASSIC SHOW #2

opening (WORST OPENING EVER!!!)
THEY SHOW THE OPENING AGAIN THEY SHOW IT TWICE!!!
it's Barry "The Star of David" Horowitz vs Sunny Beach
DAMN IT NO BRUNO!! DAMN IT!!! FUCK!

the ring apron says "UWF HOTLINE 1-900-490-4UWF" Why would anyone call that number?

John Tolos is one of the commentators he says: " You are what you eat! If you eat sushi you are sushi!"

Commercial
Why are Energy drinks bad?

Sunny Beach Has a headlock still on Barry
knee lift to Sunny
Sunny rolls up Barry 1,2, kick out
Barry abdominal strech to Sunny he uses ropes as advantage
Barry rolls up Sunny 1,2 Sunny reverses the roll up 1,2,3 Sunny wins

Commercial (Time 12:42)

Pez Whatley vs. Vladamir Koloff
YES! YES! YES! YES!
I LOVE PEZ WHATLEY PEZ WHATLEY ONE OF THE BEST GOD REST HIS SOUL!
Pez starts a USA chant
Pez picks up a child at ringside and waves the USA flag
Pez rolls up Koloff 1,2 kick out

Commercial (BTW it's a commercial for Nutirsystem)

the announcer claims Herb Abrmas is recovering from injures
Col. Red hits Pez with some sort of stick he has
both Pez and Koloff go outside the ring Ref counts 1,2,3,4,5,6,7...
Koloff grabs a chair his Pez twice in the head...
PEZ NO SELLS!!! PEZ NO SELLS!!!
here comes more wrestlers and it's a good ol' clusterfuck...
Double count out
John Tolos claims this is weird how all these wrestlers are out here there must be a full moon...
END OF SHOW
Wait no, they show the opening of the show AGAIN!!! WHAT????

now it's the end of show
OVERALL: WOW I have no idea what to say it was pretty bad I mean if you thought RAW sucked the other night
Well your wrong my friend even though I have to admit the Grappler vs Paul Orndorff was pretty funny and same
with Col. Debeers attacking a ref!
If you remember what I said yesterday I recommend if you want to watch this show with enjoyment please get beer
and or hard liquor I head Liz likes Whiskey you know Liz from the Garfield cartoon the veterinarian...
OK enough sorry for that anyways I might review UWF on ESPN CLASSIC JAN 17TH