UWF on ESPN CLASSIC JAN 24TH

SHOW #1

Dynamite David Perry vs. Viper 2
dropkick to Viper 2
revere side suplex to Viper 2
David pins Viper 1,2 kickout
slam to Viper 2
Superkick to Viper 2 1,2,3 WINNER: DAVID PERRY

commercial

The Nightstalker vs. Johnny Kid
Oh no The Nightstalker has the Halloween plastic Axe! RD please induct this gimmick
(OH BTW I didn't mention this last night, but the nightstalker is Atom Bomb)
leapfrog over Johnny Kid John Tolos just had a orgasm over that move!
worst chokeslam to Johnny 1,2,3 WINNER: nightstalker

commercial

Helmut Hassler vs. Jeff Husker
arm drag to helmut atomic drop to Helmut
John Tolos: "All these matches tonight have been SUPER SUPER SUPER!
clothesline to Jeff
John Tolos: "WHAT A SUPER CLOTHESLINE!"
Another John Tolos comment 5 seconds later:"This reminds me of SUPER DUPER DUPER!"
Commercial

Kevin Kasey "The Truth" comes out chokes Jeff with a golf club
John Tolos: "That was a SUPER SUPER DUPER DUPER MOVE!"
(Here's a idea to make UWF more entertaining have a drinking game
Whenever John Tolos does commentary whenever he says Super take a shot of tequila!)
sidesuplex to Jeff 1,2,3 WINNER: HELMUT HASSLER

Commercial

It's the boogie Woogie man!
He's asking what's in Col. Red's brain! And he says he's coming after Col. Red...
Boogie Woogie man vs. Viper 2
This match takes forever to start Boogie keeps kissing the fans
Boogie kisses John Tolos
OK the match starts not much of a match
Boogie puts Viper in a sleeper hold Viper 2 submits WINNER: BOOGIE WOOGIE MAN



SHOW #2

(THEY SHOW THE WORST OPENING EVER TWICE!!!)


Billy Jack Haynes vs. Gary Keys
(YES HERB ABRAMS AND BRUNO ARE ON COMMENTARY)
backdrop to Gary
dropkick to Gary
chops to Gary
legdrop to Gary
Full nelson to Gary Gary Submits WINNER BILLY JACK HAYNES

Commercial

OH SHIT HERE COMES KEN PATERA!!!!
Ken Patera vs. Ricky Ataki
There's a jailbird chant (For those that don't know Ken was in jail for throwing a boulder
though a window of a McDonald's I wish I made that up!
Anyways WWF made a VHS about him if anyone has it I'll buy it from you for $30!!!)
elbows to Ricky
clothesline to Ricky
elbows to Ricky
Fullneslon to Ricky WINNER: Ken Patera

Commercial

Paul Orndorff vs. Matt Star
Herb:"Everyone loves Paul Orndorff! Even kids women men!"
clothesline to Matt
elbows to Matt
piledriver to Matt 1,2,3 WINNER: PAUL ORNDORFF
(wow that match was short I think there was 3 moves wow!!!!!)

Commercial (BTW it's a commercial for Mighty Putty)

Ivan Koloff vs. Nikita Koloff
backdrop to Ivan
BTW Ivan is the uncle and Nikita is his nephew
elbows to Ivan elbows to Nikita
backslide to Ivan a 1 count
bear hug to Nikita
Commercial

still in the bear hug I swear he's in there for another 3 minutes
small package to Nikita 1,2 kickout
Ivan goes for backdrop Nikita kicks him....annnnd it's the worst kick EVER!
legdrop to Nikita
Figure 4 to Ivan Ivan submits? The bell has rung..... no! TIME LIMIT DRAW!!!!
WHAT?! I SAY THOUGH THIS FUCKING MATCH TO SEE A TIME LIMIT DRAW?! WOW!!!
show ends......
wait... They show the opening AGAIN!
then the show ends!

OVERALL: Both shows sucked hard, it sucked and blowed kinda like Paris Hilton anyways this was bad
it was worse than naked pictures of Chyna it was BAD! The Koloff match SUCKED! I mean SUCKED!
I don't know what to say, I think the John Tolos drinking game is a great idea!
it's the only damn way to get though these shows!

For a added bonus thanks to PWIInsider here's UWF Ratings


UWF Ratings
Monday 1/14

1:00 - 0.00 (no rating)
1:30 - 0.01

Tuesday 1/15
1:00 - 0.01
1:30 - 0.02

Wednesday 1/16
1:00 - 0.06
1:30 - 0.06

Thursday 1/17
1:00 - 0.07
1:30 - 0.06

Friday 1/18
1:00 - 0.02
1:30 - 0.02